Embrace the paste

There's a lot standing between me and the perfect tan. For one, 100-degree days keep me inside more than I'd like. For another, I have fair pasty skin. And I'm fine with that, really.

I'm also a sucker for funny and true news stories.

So, pasty white girl + love of funny news = THIS.

I love that Scottish scientists got 100 people to volunteer to have their buns studied...and sunburned. I wonder how that advertising went: "Show us your buns and we'll heat 'em up for ya," or, "Do you suffer from white-butt syndrome? Enter our study to find out if yours will tan!"

It was probably more like, "We'll give you cash if you'll let us expose your butt to dangerous rays."

And all those Scottish villagers were like, "Cash?!? Simulated sunlight?!? Yes please."

Honestly, though, who has a tan butt? Who? The only way to get one is to lie naked in a tanning bed (which grosses me out a little, although I'm a bit of a germaphobe), to wear a thong on the beach (eww), to do one of those spray tans (cha-ching expensive), or to use a self tanner (the safest). But even then, what's the point? The only person who sees most of our butts is our significant others, so do those significant others really care all that much whether or not our derriere is the same color as the rest of us? Chances are, their butts are white too.

So, here's to white rears, sun-deprived Scots, and anyone who wears a thong in public. More power to you.