My Declaration of Independence

I considered titling this post lots of things. Things like "Medela's Last Stand" and "Ta Ta, Ta-tas."

But I decided that "My Declaration of Independence" was most appropriate because, as of early December, I'm no longer nursing/pumping! Whether you've shared your ta-tas with a babe before or not, let me explain what stopping has meant for me.

First, I feel so, so grateful to have been able to give Moo breast milk for the first year of his life. (Oh, the irony of that nickname with a post like this!) I never set out to nurse for a year, but it worked out that way, and I'm thankful.

That said, it was not easy. From the day he was born, he ate more than I could produce, so we supplemented some with formula for a few days until I figured out that pumping helped me produce enough milk, as long as I pumped often enough. After a bout with mastitis and the insane attempt to nurse, pump, and bottle feed each feeding (read: do not try this at home), I quickly transitioned to pumping exclusively and giving him pumped milk in a bottle.

It's always a little weird to explain because you're not exactly nursing, and you are bottle feeding, but you're not giving your kid formula. There's not really a word like "breast feeding" for those of us who pump-feed.

Anyway, like I said, this worked, and every mama just has to do what works. It had its perks like anyone being able to feed him any time of day or night. But. It also meant that I was pumping 5-6 times a day for a year in order to keep up with him.Which meant that I had to plan my day around the pump schedule and stick to it so my supply would stay up. I'd often have to bring my pump with me and pump in the car, in visitor center bathrooms, in school bathrooms, in fast food bathrooms, in friends' bathrooms. It meant that I hand-washed the heck out of bottles. It meant that in addition to pumping an hour+ a day, I was also giving Moo the bottle (read: lots of TIME). Every moment of my day felt like I was in some part of the feeding process.

I got really good at doing just about anything while pumping. I can't tell you how many books I read while pumping. Or how many texts I sent, nails I painted, meals I ate, shows I watched, emails I sent, papers I graded (yep), or phone calls I made. Life just had to go on.

The best part for me, though, was HAVING to pause 5 or 6 times a day. I don't pause well, so having to was good for me.

But the day I was finished was revolutionary. I suddenly had all this TIME. And I could eat/drink whatever I wanted for the first time in almost two years. My old friend the pump went on the top shelf of the closet after being with me all day every day for a year. I felt like I was playing hooky, but that didn't last long.

People say all the time, "I can't believe you stuck with it for that long, " or "How did you pump exclusively? I can't imagine doing that." Here's the thing: you do what you have to do. It was my normal, so while it was exhausting, it was also just what I did. And it worked. And I'm glad it's over.