A new Olympic sport

My dreams have concocted yet another creative morsel: a new Olympic sport! What sport could possibly top gymnastics, beach volleyball, or the swimming of U.S.A. darling, Michael Phelps? Why, downhill water hockey, of course. This new event combines downhill skiing, water skiing, and hockey to deliver a face-paced, intense and wet competition that is sure to wow audiences around the world. In this one-on-one event, two athletes water ski down a wide and gradual water slide while hitting a hockey puck back and forth with hockey sticks. Each athlete can only touch the puck once before his or her opponent must touch it, and this "hot potato" effect must continue until the bottom of the slide, where there is a red line. Once the players cross the red line, the person who hits the puck first and successfully lands it in the net at the bottom of the slide wins a point. If the player unsuccessfully shoots, neither player receives a point. After each run down the slide, the players return to the top for another round until one player reaches five points. The player who earns five points first is declared the winner.

I'm considering contacting the Olympic committee to tell them about this novelty. Nevermind that this sport defies physics and logic; that's its draw. And you have to admit that it's much more of a sport than, say, curling. Downhill water hockey? In my dreams.