Three Things Thursday

first: Whatever side of the political line you fall on, this is just plain funny. 
second: This week, I directed my last play for the foreseeable future! It's been a fun ride, but I'm ready to get off for a while.
third: We just bought Matt Redman's new album, 10, 000 Reasons and the title song is on repeat at our house. Such a good reminder to find reasons to be thankful in ALL our moments. Check it out:

Three Things Thursday

I liked writing the "three things" post last week so much that I'm doing it again this week. No promises that it will be a regular occurrence, but for now, enjoy!

UNO
Help me out, people: what's the easiest way to post a video on your blog? I have some great videos of Moo I'm wanting to post for you faraway friends but I'm having trouble figuring out how to do it.

DOS
We planted our garden over Easter weekend and have some leftover packages of bush beans (green beans that grow low to the ground on a bush instead of being "climbers"). If you're interested, let me know and I'll drop a pack in the mail to you! An effort at getting back into letter writing and to clear our house of clutter. First come, first served.

TRES
Remember that monthly meal calendar I so ambitiously created back in January? Yeah, it didn't work. (I know you're probably thinking that you could have told me that, but some things we must learn for ourselves, mustn't we?) Anyway, I liked the idea, but here's what I learned: you can only plan so far in advance before it becomes counterproductive. If you plan too much, something will inevitably come up that will change the plan and you'll have to redo it, so there's a fine balance between planning ahead and leaving a little space for spontaneity. The calendar was nice in the sense that I had several meals to choose from, but I found myself resorting back to the way I've always planned meals--one week at a time--and choosing meals from all over the calendar based on what we were hungry for, when we were home, what was on sale, etc. It was nice to have so many dinner options already thought out, but in the end, it didn't save much time or work the way I wanted it to. Live and learn.

The deal.

So, here's the deal. This whole I'm-conflicted-over-staying-home-vs.-working-mom thing isn't new. Not to me, not to any woman. I've been thinking about it for years. And for years I've known that, if possible for our family, I wanted to stay home while my kids were little (I guess I'm not that conflicted). But there's a difference between anticipating a change and actually going through it.

No part of me questions our decision, but lots of parts of me feel unexpectedly insecure right now. Like anytime you do something new, there are those questions lies tugging at your mind: Will I be good at this? good enough at this? Will it fulfill me? Will I like it? Do I have what it takes? Do I even know what it takes? Reminds me of Abraham giving God the "But--but--but" speech when God told him to be His mouthpiece for the Israelites. My heart is "But--butting" right now, even though I know the truths in my head.

I know that I'll enjoy being a mom, that I'll, by God's grace, be good at it, that it will fulfill me (in the healthy way), that it will be meaningful and worthwhile and eternal and a great, great privilege.

But.

I also know I'll miss teaching, that there will be days when I'm not a good mom, days when I wonder if I'm making a difference, days that will feel meaningless and menial, times when I won't even like being a mom. And that's where my "But--buts" have to be answered by God's sufficiency. And there's the beauty and challenge of motherhood: We need Jesus.

So, back to the work vs. stay home debate. I've read books and articles, had countless conversations with others and myself, filled journal pages with overly-analytical reflections, and the best explanation I've found came from...wait for it...Tina Fey.

I read her book, Bossypants, back when Moo was born and in the midst of all my sleep deprivation, I remember this one part in particular. To paraphrase, Tina Fey says something like, "At the end of the day, you just have to decide what's right for you. About three times a year, I lock myself in my office and cry because I want to be home with my daughter, but I have friends who have chosen to be stay-at-home moms who, a few times a year, lock themselves in their bathrooms and cry because they want to work. One isn't any better or worse than the other. They're both hard. They're both fulfilling. You just have to be okay with the fact that, no matter which one you choose, you'll have days where you wish you weren't there."

I like how simple that is, and I like that her real point is all about contentment. In the words of Jim Elliot, "Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you know to be the will of God."

So I'm learning. 

About contentment. 

About sacrifice. 

About identity. 

About God. 

And it's good.

Because He's good.

P.S. Thanks to all who took time to pass on wisdom, articles, and encouragement on this topic. Always good to feel understood and part of a community.

Processing

Remember that identity thing I'm going through? 

Hours after posting, a friend just so happened to send me

  this article. 

Some interesting ideas to consider.  

Since I'm still processing and my thoughts are a jumble, 

I'm not going to weigh in today, 

but

 I'm curious what your thoughts are on 

womanhood, motherhood, and working (inside or outside the home). 

Lay on the wisdom, people!

Three Things Thursday

I unashamedly ripped this idea from one of my favorite bloggers, Bethany. Three Things Thursday is for those days when you you know you need to write, but can't seem to corral thoughts long enough to make sense of them.

So, here we go: 

three things. 

in no particular order. 

life in glimpses rather than gazes.

Thing One: I'm completely addicted to Boggle on the iPad. I'm not even very good at it, but I can't stop. Even my reading has been put on hold for this new hobby. Ridiculous. But wonderful.

Thing Two: Today is my dad's birthday. I'm pretty sure he never reads this blog, but I'm also pretty sure that he's one of my favorite people on the planet, so I'll forgive him for that. :)  I love that I've been a part of his life more than I haven't, and I'm so grateful to have him in my life. A few things I love about him: he calls me sometimes just to say hello, he learned how to put my hair in a ponytail when I was a kid, he has a goobery sense of humor, he emails me sometimes just to say he's praying for me, he can take honesty (and give it), and he likes chocolate and hot chai as much as I do. Happy birthday, Dad!

Thing Three: I'm going through an identity thing right now. In just a couple of months, I'll be a stay-at-home mom after eight years of working full time. Yikes. Mostly, I'm excited and humbled to have the opportunity to stay home, but as it gets closer, I'm having to confront myself, my pride, my insecurities in ways I didn't anticipate. I've never been great at life transitions, and this is a big one, but a really, really good one. More on this later, but for now I'm processing.