cheap thrills.

I have a ridiculous confession to make: I love--absolutely love--using a new bottle of shampoo. While I'm strictly a Suave girl, I'm one of those people who always tries a new smell, so when I'm at the end of a bottle, I can't wait to use that last drop to start with the new scent. In fact, I've been known to throw away a bottle with a little shampoo left in it just so that I can use the new kind. Lately, I've been on a Suave Professionals kick, and apparently it works well since every time I go to have my hair cut the people ask me what products I use. You should see their faces drop when I say Suave; it's like I just insulted them or something. Anyway, I opened a new bottle of Suave Professionals Humectant shampoo and conditioner this week...no matter that I have no idea what humectant is. It smells like coconut and makes my hair clean and shiny, and that's all that matters. Happiness doesn't have to cost a fortune after all.

upstaged.

A phone conversation with my 9-year-old brother:

ME: Hey buddy!
JOSEPH: (obviously disappointed) Oh. I thought I was going to talk to Phil.
ME: Well, you were, but I just wanted to say hi first and tell you that I love you.
JOSEPH: Okay, well, can I talk to Phil now?

I guess I can't blame the kid. I mean, he's had to grow up with two sisters and no brothers at home, so he can't help it if he prefers talking to Phil (a guy) over me. I can handle it. In fact, I know how he feels since I grew up with only brothers and no sisters. But I will be tackling him the next time I see him...

Ham-Ham-Hammer Time

An M.C. Hammer classic, "Too Legit to Quit" popped in my head today and just wouldn't leave--typical of those catchy 80s songs. Anyway, I shared with my creative writing class that the song had been playing like a broken record and one of my students said, "Is that song, like, old?" And another said, "I don't know that song." And yet another, "Those are the words to that song?" Before they could floor me any further, I stopped them with an incredulous, "You really haven't heard that song? Am I THAT old, really?" (And of course I'm thinking, "Is that song old? Because it doesn't seem old to me.")

A sweet girl in the front row said, "Mrs. Johnson, you're not old." Brown noser or not, that girl is getting an A.

There's a lot from the 80s that needs never to return (big hair, glowing makeup, leg warmers, tied t-shirts, splotchy jeans, braided belts, and neon colors, to name a few), but M.C. Hammer, jellies, and Alligator polos are welcome to stick around. They're just too legit to quit.

Just Say No

While many Americans would confess to caffeine addiction, I suffer from caffeine sensitivity. That's right: only decaf for me...unless you want my heart rate to speed up, my head to pound, my body to become jittery, and my emotions to turn somewhat bipolar. I realize that the term "caffeine sensitivity" takes a lowly place on the health world shelf next to Restless Leg Syndrome, the common cold, and allergies, but it is a real medical condition. Thankfully, there's an easy cure: avoid caffeine. For me, that means I must divorce myself from regular coffee and tea, but may still maintain my relationship with decaf and chocolate.

If my body reacts this way to a minor stimulant like caffeine, I can only imagine what would happen if a real drug got in my system. I'd be that kid who dies the first time she tries Speed. The motto "Just Say No" comes in handy. Speed? "No." Caffeine? "No." Chocolate? "Yes please!" So...I have a weakness. At least it's not drugs.