Monday, September 8, 2014

Newsflash: I'm not in control.

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It's 6 a.m. and I already feel like I've lived a day. Between the (rare) nap I took yesterday and the weird stomach pain I had most of the night, sleep was fitful, short, and frustrating. And the kids, who've slept until 6:30 most mornings this week (and should have slept in this morning because they didn't nap yesterday and went to bed late) are both awake and I just want to drink my coffee hot and spend time reading scripture--something I feel like I deserve since I still got up with my 5:40 alarm even though I barely slept. Terrible theology, I know. I've turned my time with Jesus in the mornings into an idol. I have a complaining, entitled heart. The whole day feels defeated before the sun is even up, and there's one big, false assumption that if I could just do A and B, then C will result. I'll be in control; I won't have to trust.

So, here are truths I'm putting before me today. Maybe you need them too?

  • You are not in control. Today isn't about you feeling accomplished, rested, or competent; it's about God and who He is, what He's promised, and what He's up to. Lean into Him.
  • You may feel empty today--good! You have surplus to give out of--surplus that comes from unending grace, not your own storehouses.
  • The day feels defeated already--good! Lay down your weapons. Die to that woman who has to have it all together. Boast in your weaknesses because it's then that He is strong.
  • Fight to rest today. Quit trying so hard. Quit trying at all. Take up His light yoke and shrug off worry--you aren't in control anyway.

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