Advice

A friend recently asked me if I had any parenting/baby advice (good or bad) to pass along since she's due with her first in a few weeks. Prior to having a child, I would have been replete with advice, but now I'm reluctant to give it. Every kid is different. Every family has its own challenges and circumstances.

So here's my advice--two things:

ONE: Let yourself be human. In other words, let yourself NOT have all the answers, not have all your ducks in a row, not have everything in your life "together." The first weeks after having a baby is not about having things together; it's about admitting that you don't and getting help when you need it. I'm learning this one still. Learning that it's okay if I don't have time to put my contacts in AND people are coming over, okay if my carpets are dirty a little longer than I'd like for them to be, okay if my clothes don't fit quite right yet. These things are simply HUMAN. No room to judge because, let's be honest: who really has all their "stuff" together?

TWO: Look to the good. Every stage of parenting has its challenges and blessings, and in the midst of sleep deprivation, spit-up, not getting anything (not even a smile!) in return, eating struggles, infections, and whatever else might come your way,  it's easy to focus on the challenges instead of the blessings. I'm learning to focus on the good--on the sleeping baby on my shoulder, on the sweet noises he makes when he eats, on how healthy he is, on the marvel that is the washing machine. Looking to the good makes for such a more joyful life, and that's the one I want to lead.

So, that's it. That's all I've got. Take it or leave it.