The Olympics have me wondering...

photo credit

What have I been doing lately? Watching the Olympics, that's what. Watching far too many hours of the Olympics. But, hey, they only come around every four years, so I'm okay with it. They have left me with a lot of questions, though. Questions like:

Women's beach volleyball:

• Does all that colorful tape on your shoulders and backs and knees actually do anything or is it just there to look all tough and injured?
• Why are there bikini-clad groupies in the corner of the sand area? They look like they should be on an Old Navy commercial. Not sure what purpose they're serving.
• Can the media not find better stock photos of Kerri Walsh and Misty May? Kerri looks like she's been in a Russian prison where they didn't let her wash her hair and Misty looks like she has a medical condition that makes her eyes bug out. They're attractive girls; find some pictures that do them justice! (Side note: they're also among my favorite Olympic athletes! Haven't missed a match yet!)

Men's single canoe:

• Who knew that even existed? Not me.
• Doesn't doing that digging motion over and over for over five minutes work out only one half of their body? How do they decide which arm to use for paddling? Do they switch it up? They must because their bodies were oh-so-perfectly proportional.

Gymnastics: 

• One question: Balance beam--how the heck do you do that? Sheesh, ladies.

Diving:

• At what point in your life do you decide to jump off a 2-story building, do a bunch of flips and twists and attempt to land in water in such a way that you a) don't die and b) don't belly flop and c) make as little splash as possible? Just sayin'. 

Swimming:

• Why is it that most of the best swimmers are in their teens and twenties but that most of the best runners are much older? Hmm.

Trampoline:

• Do you think athletes who compete in trampoline are a little embarrassed? Someone at the opening ceremonies asks, "So, what sport do you compete in?" and they have to answer, "Trampoline." Doesn't have quite the same ring as "distance swimming." Still, I couldn't do what they do, so they have my respect.

And a special message to water polo: I'm just not that into you. Sorry. It's not you; it's me.