Hello Goodbye

There was a trail through the woods to Missy's house, and we kept it clear by walking it at least once every day in the summers. When we were at her house, we played elaborate games of "teacher" and "library" and "grocery store"--really, anything that allowed at least one of us to feel grown up and in charge. We also made up some serious dance moves to her dad's old Monkees and Beatles records, although I'm afraid my dancing skills piqued at age eight. Every once in a while those songs push their way through my subconscious and out of my mouth before I know how they got there. It happened today, actually.

Halfway home from work--the last day of work for the foreseeable future after eight years of working--my mind was wandering, jumping from deep, nostalgic thoughts to more pressing, shallow ones, and I realized that I was singing--out loud--"Hello Goodbye." I don't think I've heard or sung that song in years, but there it was and the timing of it all made me laugh.

Today I turned in my keys, pulled out of my parking spot, and checked my work email and teacher box for the last time--things I've done every day for the past six years. Oh, I'm sure I'll be back to visit, but probably just once or twice next year. After that it'll just be weird; it won't be my place anymore. It'd be like going back to my alma mater: I love it, and there are parts of me all over that campus, but it's not mine anymore; it belongs to those young 18-year-olds who just discovered streaking in the outfield during a baseball game. Even though some of the best parts and years of me are at the school where I taught, it's not mine anymore, not after today. And most of me is okay with that. Most of me is relieved to slow down life's pace, to do fewer things and do them well, and, most importantly, to have more time with my son. But I'd be lying if I said today was completely easy because it wasn't.

Thank goodness for the Beatles who live in my subconscious and have a sense of humor. It was a "Hello Goodbye" kind of day. I'm not sure what to feel. I've never done this before. But what I can tell you is that I'm looking forward to spending the day with Moo tomorrow.

When we had been dating for about three months or so, I remember asking Phil where he thought our relationship was headed. In retrospect, it was kind of an intense question after just three months, but Phil navigated the super-planner in me with grace. He said, "I loved hanging out with you today, and I'm looking forward to seeing you again tomorrow. That's all we need to know right now." So, that's where I am. I loved hanging out with Moo this afternoon and evening, and I'm looking forward to seeing him again tomorrow. And I hope I never stop looking forward to seeing him.

My weekend

The joys of teaching...

And so it begins

This morning at 8:00 a.m., 21 9th graders will be staring at me for 54 minutes. They'll be staring at me, but their minds will be elsewhere--wondering who I am and when the new lockers will come, worrying about finding their next class and making it there on time, worrying about who they'll sit with at lunch, wishing they had gone to bed earlier last night, wishing they had don t their summer reading, wishing they could have their cell phones. They'll also be bringing all kinds of invisible relational baggage into the room--something I often forget. They'll be thinking about the fight they had with their best friend or how their dad didn't come home last night or how they don't have any friends or how they miss their mom who died last year.

And somewhere in the midst of all that, I'll be teaching them English.

This morning at 8:00 a.m., I will stand in front of those 21 9th graders and will talk about the 180 hours we'll spend together this year with great expectation and dreams of being an inspiration. I'm hoping the kids like me, find the content engaging, and are respectful and awake. I'll have my own set of worries: am I too strict or too fun? Did I forget to tell them something? Could I teach any of this better than I already am?

But right now--right now--is calm, joy, anticipation, knowing that God has so clearly called me to this and trusting that He will not give me more than I can handle. This will need to be a year of trust, of leaning on Him, and with that in mind, this is my prayer for the year:

May my teaching fall like rain

and my words descend like dew,

like showers on new grass,

like abundant rain on tender plants.

Deuteronomy 32:2

Dedication

It came as no surprise that I, a wonder of a woman, was asked to be Wonder Woman in a funny video at school. I mean, what kid doesn't want to see his or her teacher dressed in fierce, patriotic, caped wonder? I sure would. And how could I turn down the opportunity to dress in costume in the middle of a day that is as far from Halloween as possible? I enjoyed going into the administrative offices asking if they had called for a super hero. And no, you may not borrow my costume.

End of Feb. list

I have a few minutes left in February, and one of my goals these past couple of weeks has been to write at least one more blog before the month ends, so here I go (and this might explain why I haven't written in a while). In the past week, I have set a few records. I have...

Directed 2 plays, performed 3 times each and rehearsed at least a gazillion times each.

Watched and enjoyed nearly 40 teenagers make audiences laugh with their one-act comedies.

Had over 9 hours of sleep on a school night (after said play performances).

Eaten Chick-Fil-A chicken nuggets, chocolate cake, a brownie, a cookie, a muffin top, powdered sugared strawberries, and chips for lunch (the result of some very sugar filled cast parties).

Made an oh-so-yummy homemade chicken, broccoli, potato, and cheese soup. I'd tell you the recipe, but I didn't really use one in particular...and I'd have to kill you.

Moved Anna Karenina to my bedside table instead of the other room (meaning that I'm that much closer to mustering up the courage to read it).

Discovered Ten Thousand Villages. More on this later.

And this evening might bring yet another record: snow for the first time all year! Of course, it does help my odds that I'm in Chattanooga this weekend since it actually gets cold up here.

Who knew the shortest month could be so eventful? Apparently I did.

Back to school

There was a time when I looked forward to the beginning of a new school year--mostly for the new, colorful folders, new clothes, and new classes. In seventh grade, I was most excited about a pink and aqua folder, a new pair of Keds, landing a top locker, and having almost all my classes with my best friends, Kim and Caroline. (Side note: I also played the french horn and had what I affectionately call the "trifecta": glasses, braces, and bangs).

Today is my last day before reporting to work for another year of teaching and I am honestly excited about it. I usually finish the school year feeling fairly depleted in every way, so the summer pace of part-time work and part-time relaxation was just what I needed to refuel for a new school year.

I will, however, miss the following from my summer schedule:
flexibility
slow mornings
dressing down
coffee with friends
working out regularly
staying up late
slower pace
less stress
simplicity
counseling at Sav-A-Life

But I am also looking forward to the following starting tomorrow:
structure in my schedule
new students (and old ones)
a fresh start
reconnecting with colleagues
writing more by teaching creative writing
relying on Jesus more
football games
fine tuning my teaching practices

So, school year 2008-2009, here I come! Tomorrow.