On January 1, I found myself reading Psalm 56. I got to that familiar verse:
"When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose Word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" (vs. 3-4) and I remember thinking how much I love those words, but how I wasn't really sure why God led me to those verses that day. I had nothing fearful in front of me, nothing in particular that I was needing to trust Him for.
And then I went on a road trip to North Carolina to spend a girls weekend with one of my best friends, Alisa Worley, before her wedding next weekend. I left around 3:00 in the afternoon and because the normal route to Robbinsville, NC was blocked from a rock slide earlier this fall, Phil and I found an alternative route on google maps that didn't take much longer, which I, of course, sent on to all the other girls who were coming. About 2 hours into the trip, I realized that the route I was taking led me directly up a
5,000-foot mountain. This wouldn't really be a problem except that 2 weeks ago that area had nearly 3 feet of snow and ice. I actually knew about the snow, but figured that it had all been plowed by now and that there wouldn't be any problems.
About 4,000 feet up, I saw the ice. And I treaded lightly and slowly. I had no cell phone reception, no one riding with me, and no 4-wheel-drive. Pretty soon, there was a car in front of me that was spinning its wheels in the ice. I spoke briefly with the driver who said that he was trying to turn around, but was stuck. Since there was nothing I could do for him and I was afraid of stopping my car on the ice lest I go the way his car had, I zigzagged out of that icy patch and began what would be an entire hour of ice and snow patches up and down a 5,000 foot mountain at 20 miles an hour or less, trying not to spin out.
After I passed the car spinning its wheels, I began to shake uncontrollably. It was one of the few moments in my life where I really had no idea what to do. If I tried to turn around, I thought I'd get stuck. If I pulled over, my semi-warm tires would melt into the ice enough and I would be stuck until someone came to tow me out...whenever that might be. If I were to slide, I could go off the mountain (no weren't guard rails). So, I did the only thing I could: I kept driving. And praying.
And then I remembered what I had read earlier that morning:
"When I am afraid I will trust in you." I just started praying that sentence over and over again, literally begging God for protection and my life. I later looked up that chapter again and here's how it ends:
"For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life" (vs. 13). Another girl later told me that she saw a sign saying "2-wheel drive cars not advised past this point." I had missed it entirely. As you may have guessed, however, I made it over the mountain (as did the other girls), but it was by far the most terrifying hour of my life, and I still feel a little shaken up by what felt like a near-death, or at least near-disastrous, experience.
As awful and nightmarish as it was, though, I'm grateful to begin 2010 having to trust in God so desperately. Every once in a while, it's good to remember how small I am, and how every moment I must throw myself on the mercy of the only One who is capable of saving me.